What's the big F**kin deal with Mass Effect 2????

bg What's the big F**kin deal with Mass Effect 2????

This article is exactly what it says. WHAT THE HELL IS THE BIG DEAL WITH MASS EFFECT 2? Why are all those big time gaming publishers (y’all know who y’all are) going “OMG THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME EVER GAGAGAGAGA!”

OK, no doubt Mass Effect 2 is a good game with state of art graphics, and a great storyline. But frankly, speaking from the bottom of my honesty genes, ME2 has offered nothing new when compared to Mass Effect 1. Lets assume there was no ME1 and all we had was ME2, then yes, I could say, ME2 is a ‘good’ game, but since thats not the case, ME2 brings nothing new to the table, just a new story. I’ll explain.

mass effect 2 miranda trailer h d 2 What's the big F**kin deal with Mass Effect 2????

Slick character design, nice detail to outfit. And nice curves. Really 'Spacey'

So, June 2008, I was in my senior year of University, and my geek gaming community were all going gaga about the release of Mass Effect, a next-gen sci-fi action RPG. I was really, I mean, REALLY looking forward to playing it. Having watched the XBOX review n number of times, my anticipation was all over the roof.  So well, I went ahead and purchased this game, started playing it, and I was impressed. The game had great production values, absolute Hollywood style dialogue play, great camera panning during conversations, it was an entirely new experience. Something I had never expected, nor experienced previously, out of the gazillion games I’ve played. So it turned out, I was churning some 4 hours a day on Mass Effect. (The other 2 hours were spent on The Witcher – future article on why The Witcher is an EXCELLENT RPG)

After my first 12 hours of gameplay, I started noticing the sheer ‘linearity’ of how the dialogue play and game play progress. Being linear is not good. Especially in RPG games. The quests became as predictable as ever. But nonetheless, I was enjoying the game. It had a great ‘look and feel’ to it. Plus, apart from that, it had a great battle system, and it was fun fighting. The player models were extremely detailed, their armour looked really genuine, especially on curvy females, the armour really bought out their magnificent curves. Space females are gorgeous, and ME1 had pulled off its sex appeal really well.

Now, coming to the Morality system. HOW BLOODY PREDICTABLE! I’ll call it foolish. Or shallow. The layman wont see this. I’ll explain. In ME, say something good, you get points for your good side, which the game calls ‘Paragon.’ You say something bad, you get points into your ‘Renegade’ stats. Well this is, no doubt, a good system, but what its lacking is wittiness. Its just so simple to expect what points you will get with what you say. Let me illustrate, if in the game, a girls asks you ‘How are you?’ and you reply ‘I’m fine’, you get Paragon points. If you reply ‘Shut up bitch!’ you get Renegade points. Why so predictable ME? Why? We’re not 3 years olds playing this game. Give us some subtlety, some egotism in the wordplay, and then throw at us your points. Some unpredictability. What ME really demonstrated here was the lack of depth in its coding i.e. not enough lines put up in the code. Dragon Age Origins does this perfectly. My character Theron (male elf) has been trying to talk nice to this chic Morrigan, who’s a part of my squad, and yet she always disapproves of me. Why? Because thats her character. She doesnt like people playing nice with her, or asking her too many questions. So ME1 may be a good game on the top, but deep down it doesnt really have an ecosystem or intelligence.

strahovski mass effect 2 026 What's the big F**kin deal with Mass Effect 2????

I know many people wanted to finish Mass Effect 2 just to watch this scene :p

The quests and side quests became extremely boring, at the later stages of this game. It wasnt the ‘gameplay’ that was driving me on, it was just the story. And I hate it when that happens. You, wanting to finish a game just to know how the story ends. Thats shallow. And that is what Mass Effect is. Rating the game, I’d give it a 7.5/10. For a new era in graphics, production, and the hard work done in dialogue play.

Now, the deal with Mass Effect 2. ME 2 was almost like a carbon copy of ME1. Just like 5% better graphics, 5% better battle system, 5% better production, THATS IT! Not an overwhelming story either. The only new addition I liked was scanning through planets for resources. Which again, compared to other RPGs out there, is shit, but compared to ME1, is a tad little better. ME2 did have some nice characters, with really interesting backgrounds, and obviously the sexual tensions, but the ecosystem/core of the game is still too shallow, for us ‘hardcore gamers’ atleast.

mass effect 2 What's the big F**kin deal with Mass Effect 2????

A chic dressed up in a Mass Effect 2 outfit. Sweet eh?

My final words about ME2: You know how those Big Time Hollywood Releases like Terminator 3 are like right? All flashy sazzy, but no depth, right? Yes. Thats how Mass Effect 2 is. Nothing but some shallow piece of high-quality refined garbage. My rating of Mass Effect 2: 4/10. F**k you critics who said ‘This is the best game of all time etc etc etc.”


  1. Way to be late to a party, man. The game’s been out over a year. There have been multiple dlc releases quadrupling the size of the storyline. One more dlc is scheduled for later this year, before the release of ME3.

  2. Hey DUMB ASS!!! I’ve clocked over 200 hours into ME1 and yeah, I’d definitely have to agree with your rating for it, but for ME2, HELL NO!!! You only gave a 5% improvement across the board. I saw something more like 20% better graphics, 70% better battle system, 50% better production, and though I haven’t played DA1 or 2 yet, the only RPG I’ve ever found to have a deeper “ecosystem/core” was KoTOR2 which was unfortunately never truly finish, hence why it sucked in the end.
    ME2 had alot of flaws I’ll grant you, but if you bothered to even finish the whole thing, you would’ve realized that its not as linear as “this is good and this is bad”. It had more shades of grey than I was ever able to find in only 1 play-through.

    PS: Yeah, I know my comment’s absurdly late. Did anyone else realize that girl’s outfit is actually paint?

  3. LoL@Heulakaas…. Yeah we noticed it was paint. Just can’t wait for ME3 to be released!!

  4. LoL@Heulakaas, Yeah we noticed it was paint. Can’t wait for the release of ME3

  5. What are you chatting about?
    The story line I think is very cleverly made, the way you can change how the story goes and choose the relashionships you want with people, I have to disagree with your rating of 4/10 and say about 8.5/10. The missions are very predictable though, but I just like to get the mission over with and see how the story goes. TIP FOR PEOPLE. GET EVERYONE LOYAL TO YOU BEFORE LAST MISSION. Or everyone dies apart from Miranda, Jacob and Garrus. I made that mistake.

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