Greetings readers. This week, we’re starting 2 new Sunday Features, Extra Baggage and, iLL-Termission. The Extra Baggage feature will include our picks for the coolest mods, free-to-play and mobile games of the week. We decided on going for this one because there’s so much cool stuff on the WWW so wanted to be sure you don’t miss them out!
Our other feature, iLL-Termission is basically a feature where the editors at iLL Gaming sit down and discuss anything related to gaming. anything that comes to our mind, freely. If we think its something we should share with you, we post it!
We start of iLL-Termission with the 7 Things Hardcore Gamers Hate About This Gen
1. N00B BABY-SITTING TUTORIALS
Every time you gain ANY sort of new ability, these splash-screens spring up to “teach” you on how to get it done. Forget about players having brains.
From these tutorials, we sense there’s a hidden message from the developers, that how stupid they think we actually are. What a nice way to pay homage.
“Click the Left Mouse Button to shoot”
YEAH RIGHT!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
2. MOTION CONTROL
A hardcore gamer’s eternal nightmare popularized by industry’s most respected companies. They were fearful when Wii brought in motion controls. Then came Move and OH GOD Kinect and we all turned into our ancestral primates waving our hands, jumping in front of the TV screen while a room full of people laughed — at us or at the screen? That’s the mystery!
Hey if you want us to be like our ancestral primates then gaming is NOT the way to go. How about something that actual primates ACTUALLY did, like make free-love???
3. CASUAL GAMERS
NO! YOUR 500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 HIGH SCORE IN TEMPLE RUN DOESN’T MAKE YOU A GOOD PLAYER, MORON!
If don’t sulk every time you find a casual gamer boasting how good he/she is at flipping birds, then you’re probably not one of us. Worst, casual gaming is not just limited to portable devices now, Nintendo Wii turned gaming from a “basement hobby” to something even your grandma enjoys (which is a good (read: bad) thing). Then came the social gaming and mobile gaming revolution and suddenly gaming became “mainstream”. Many hardcore gamers couldn’t get over that and couldn’t tolerate the new kid on the block who until last year listened to rap music and played sports but now also plays Angry Birds and CoD and occasionally pwns your sorry ass.
Our controversial pick. Checkpoints, most of the times they are so stupidly placed that it either saves every minute or makes you go through the same area again and again and again, simply because the checkpoint was stupidly placed 20 mins apart. Worse, this console tradition has extended onto PC where earlier gamers (a.k.a. REAL MEN) used to <3 games where you fulfill your OCD by chronically hitting F5 every 20 seconds.
Another opinionated pick. We love controversy! Achievements don’t serve any value whatsoever to the player. Come on eh? I don’t want a notification saying “You have Unlocked the ‘Get your first headshot’ Achievement. Achievements, although a good concept are not implemented how they actually should be. Instead of being just a mere Notification, how about actually rewarding the player? (This does not hold true for some game clients)
Lolwut?! Back in the day they were called expansion packs! And they had REAL actual content! Not just $2 horse armour or mechanics that should actually have been part of the real game. Or worse, the DLC is ALREADY on the disc and you just need to pay up to get a code that will unlock the DLC. It’s really just another way the publishers can rip off every penny the gamer’s ever saved up. Pointless!
7. PC FAN-SERVICE
What? This game doesn’t support SFXAaaa AAF, ambient occlusion and every other weird obtuse PC setting that all of 0.001% gamers give a fuck about?! > IMMA SLASH MY WRISTS!!!
With the amount of delayed and second-rate ports the PC has been getting over last few years, PC elitists have essentially become whiny kids who point & cry at every non anti-aliased pixel on their screen and then blame it on the developers. OK we understand, it does seem disheartening when your favourite sequel just got a bummed-out PC version while all the consoles get the bells and whistles, our suggestion, get over it. That’s something neither us nor the devs can do anything about, its a business decision coming in from the suits, and it controls our lives, sadly.